


The Best Kind of Breakup Sex (Is The Kind Where You Don’t Actually Bang Your Ex)

by HandsomeManExpress (DangerousCommieSubversive)



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Breakup Sex, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, as it does not include screwing your horrible ex, but improved upon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/HandsomeManExpress
Summary: Some things Finn can tolerate--bad attitudes, losing championships, the occasional injury. Making his friend miserable, he cannot. Luckily, Sami agrees with him that dumping Molly is an unforgivable crime, but she won't let them go beat her ex up, so they've got to find some other way to cheer her up.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IrishPictsie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrishPictsie/gifts).



> Commissioned by IrishPictsie, because sometimes you just wanna read about a threesome. ^_^

_I haven’t heard from Molly in a few days,_ Finn thought absently as he was making himself breakfast one morning. _I wonder what she’s up to._ It didn’t concern him too much; they’d gone days before without texting each other, they both had lives and training to worry about and couldn’t be on their phones all the time.

“I ought to text her later,” he said to himself between bites of scrambled egg, and then forgot about it as he got ready to head to the gym.

 

* * *

 

He thought of it again at lunch, tucked into a corner of a café, eating a sandwich. _It really **has** been a while, hasn’t it? A week at least. That’s unusual._ But then again, she had her own life, her own work to be doing. They’d gone for long stretches without texting each other before.

Because he was thinking about it, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent off a quick message. [You’ve been awfully quiet lately.]

He didn’t get a response right away, but it wouldn’t have been reasonable to expect one, would it?

 

* * *

 

Then, at dinner, Sami looked up from his plate with a frown and said, “Have you heard from Molly lately? I kinda feel like it’s been a while.”

Finn blinked. “You know, I was just thinking about that earlier today. Texted her at lunch, but she hasn’t texted back. You?”

“It’s been almost a week and a half, man. I’m getting worried. Wasn’t she supposed to be seeing that Brian asshole?”

“Brian’s not an asshole, he’s a perfectly nice guy. I think.” Finn swallowed a mouthful of soup and shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve never met him. Molly likes him.”

“I haven’t met him either, he just sounds like a dick. I’m gonna text her, see what’s going on.” Sami started digging in his pocket for his phone. “If he hurt her or something I’ll murder him.”

Finn pulled out his phone as well. “We might as well both text her, then she’ll actually know we’re concerned.” [Hey, are you ok? Sami and I are worried. Neither of us have heard from you in ages.]

Barely a minute passed before both of their phones were jangling, lighting up with identical texts. [everythign sucks and I kinda wanna die]

Sami and Finn glanced at each other, Finn said, “You’re right, Brian’s an asshole,” and Sami sent back, [we’ll be right over].

 

* * *

 

The door to Molly’s apartment wasn’t locked. That would have been worrying by itself; Molly always locked her door whether or not she was home, perpetually vaguely afraid of housebreakers and deeply protective of her privacy.

Then, of course, Finn opened the door and saw the wasteland of empty ice cream pints on the coffee table and the pizza box in the kitchen. It painted a pretty clear picture.

Molly didn’t even look up at them. She was hunched on the couch, swathed in a blanket, sniffling. “Hey, guys.”

Sami was on the couch next to her in seconds. Finn wasn’t, but only because he’d started to pick up the ice cream containers instead, after making sure that the door was securely locked behind him. “Molly, what happened?”

“Brian broke up with me.” She sneezed, hard, into a Kleenex that looked like it had already taken a lot of abuse. “He didn’t even come _here_ to do it. Just _texted_ me.” Another noisy sneeze. “He’s fucking one of his trainees. Apparently it’s been going on for four months already.”

“That fucker.” Sami kissed her on the side of the head, right above her ear. “We can beat him up, if you like. We’ve driven longer distances for shows, Finn and I’ll head to his school right now and kick his ass in front of all his students. When did he pull this shit?”

“Just yesterday. That’s when I ordered the pizza.” She made a little miserable whimpering noise and leaned against Sami’s chest. “And the ice cream. I got the ice cream delivered. I figured, why even try, you know? I’m just everyone’s _settle,_ if I’m never gonna get a guy who wants to stick around I might as well get three different kinds of ice cream.”

Finn settled down on the couch on her other side. “Well, if you’re with a guy who _doesn’t_ want you to have at least three different kinds of ice cream, I don’t know what he’s good for.”

She giggled weakly and then blew her nose again.

“And what d’you mean by that? _Settle._ You’re nobody’s settle. You’re _too_ good for that arsehole, if he can’t handle that it’s his loss. So are Sami and I going on a road trip?”

“I sort of want to say yes.” She reached out and pulled him in closer, huddling between the two of them as if hiding between sheltering trees. “But honestly, what’s the point, you know? It wouldn’t really make me feel any better. I’ve done this before, it’s not like he’s the first guy to ditch me once he found an upgrade.”

“Going to keep arguing with you on that upgrade business, Moll, you’re _very_ —”

“Finn.” Sami raised an eyebrow. “Maybe we should try to find out what _would_ help?”

“What, telling her she’s brilliant _and_ gorgeous and any daft cunt who doesn’t see that needs a kick in the head _isn’t_ helpful?”

Molly blushed vividly. “That. Uh. Does help a little, hearing that. The hugs are also helping, hugs are good. Um…we could…watch a movie? It’s kinda not the Netflix and chill I was _hoping_ for this weekend, but _that_ would have involved Brian not being a douchebag. We could watch _The Lego Movie._ ” She paused. “In a few minutes. Right now neither one of you is allowed to get up, this is really nice.”

 

* * *

 

“Netflix and chill, huh?” Sami laughed, and the vibration of it felt like an extra hug by itself. “Were you planning on watching _The Lego Movie_ with him too?”

“No, of course not. We were probably just gonna watch _Die Hard_ for the thousandth time. Not that I don’t love that movie, but… ” She tilted her head back to look up at him, a curl of hair falling in her face. “He doesn’t like fun movies. Which I guess should have been a warning sign ages ago.”

Finn was a warm weight on the other side of her. It was very comforting. “ _I_ like fun movies.”

“Obviously, but I’m not _dating_ you. If I _were_ dating you I doubt I’d have spent half of the day crying. You’re much nicer than he is. And better-looking, honestly. Either of you would be a significant improvement over him.” She let out a wistful sigh, which if nothing else felt better than crying had.

Finn raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so you’ve _thought_ about it, then.”

She let out an unladylike snort to cover the fact that she was blushing. “What, what it’d be like to go out with you? _Obviously,_ who wouldn’t? Have you _seen_ you? With the, the…the face, and the abs and everything?”

Sami huffed. “I’m feeling kinda left out here now.”

“Did I say you _weren’t_ included? Because I don’t remember saying that you weren’t included in this.”

“So you’ve thought about dating me _and_ you’ve thought about dating Finn?”

Her face definitely felt hot. “That’s a…reductive way of putting it.”

“Which means… _oh._ ”

“Look, I thought you guys came over to make me feel better about getting dumped, not to put me on the spot about what I may or may not have thought about at great length.”

There was a lengthy silence, in which neither Sami or Finn spoke or looked at her, although they didn’t move away at all.

She squirmed nervously and then covered her face with both hands. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, it was embarrassing and weird and inappropriate, forget I ever mentioned it. I’ve just forgotten how to talk to people because I’ve been so flipped out.”

Another pause, and then a large hand gently pulled one of hers away from her face. “Molly,” Finn said, very softly, “if I kiss you right now do you promise not to faint or anything?”

She stared at him, not lowering her other hand. “Oh, good. Either I’ve fallen asleep or I’ve started hallucinating.”

“Neither. I’ll pinch you, if you like.”

“No, I’m _definitely_ hallucinating, because I coulda sworn you just said you wanted to kiss me.”

“He did say that,” said Sami from behind her. “I heard him.”

“You could _also_ be a hallucination. Probably brought on by excessive ice cream consumption.” She thought about it. “Although normally by this point you’d both already have your shirts off. And I’d probably be wearing something nicer. Or nothing. Either way, not my actual oldest pair of yoga pants. Um.” Finally she lowered her free hand, very slowly. “ _I’ll_ promise not to faint if _you_ promise not to disappear in a puff of smoke or turn into the Demon and bite my head off or something.”

“It’s a deal.”

She closed her eyes, because if she closed them then maybe whatever insanely beautiful dream this was would keep going, and then there were two fingers very gently tilting her chin up and lips pressed to hers. They were good lips. Soft.

His mouth tasted faintly of something. When she realized that, she _did_ open her eyes, and said, somewhat breathlessly, “Ok, um. I think maybe I’m _not_ dreaming, because did you have a beer with dinner? Not that that’s _bad,_ it’s just that in dreams I don’t normally. Taste things. Which means that you _actually_ just kissed me. Actual you. In the flesh.”

He was smiling. His face was still very close to hers. “That’d seem to be the case, yeah.”

“Ok, so. Question. Why?”

“Because I wanted to and you said I could. To be fair, I’ve wanted to for a while, but there was that Brian arse getting in the way of things. Now he’s out of the way and there’s you saying you wished we were dating, so I figured it was a good time to suggest it.”

She nodded slowly. “Ok, then. Next question. Are you going to do it again? And if so, how soon? Is now an option?”

He didn’t _say_ anything in response, but that was because he was kissing her again, which wasn’t something she wanted to argue with. Then there was a third kiss, and a fourth, and by the fifth one she was feeling distinctly overheated and slightly lightheaded, so it almost took her by surprise when Sami moved and she remembered that they were basically in his lap.

Finn glanced over her head at Sami, and then looked back at her. “All right, _I_ have another question for _you._ See, I’ve got this friend who’d _also_ like to kiss you, but he’s terribly shy. If I don’t ask for him he might never get up the nerve.”

Sami made an offended noise. “Oh my god, Finn, way to make me sound like a total coward.”

“Ohhhhhh my god, now _you_ want to kiss me?” Molly looked up, saw Sami grinning down at her, and covered her face again. “I’m back to worrying about hallucinations, what is happening? What is _happening._ I’m not upset about it, I’m just very confused.” She peeked through her fingers.

“Breakup sex?” Sami looked _hopeful._ It was completely insane. “If you’re into it.”

“How can it be breakup sex? Brian’s not here.”

“Well, ok, very-fast-rebound sex. Why would you want to have sex with _him?_ He just broke up with you.” He paused. “Also it wouldn’t be _fair_ if Finn got to kiss you and I didn’t, given that you’re on top of me.”

“Those are…both very good points.” She lowered her hands. “I’d hate to think I was being unfair to you.” He tipped her head back and while there _was_ a lot of beard in the way, it was definitely at _least_ as good as anything she’d daydreamed about. At _some_ point, she wasn’t quite clear on when, Finn leaned in and started kissing the side of her neck, and she shivered and let out a little noise into Sami’s mouth.

“ _That’s_ a better sound than crying.”

His lips moving against her skin tickled, and she laughed. And then, in a sudden wave of apprehension, said, “Wait, do you _actually_ think I’m…brilliant and gorgeous and everything? This isn’t some pity thing?”

“Nope.” Sami kissed her again. “You are _absolutely_ the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” Another kiss. “And you’re intimidatingly smart.”

Finn kissed her neck. “You have cute freckles and nice hair.” The hollow of her throat. “And good taste in movies.” Her _chin,_ for some reason, which caused him to bump faces with Sami, so _they_ kissed, which was, Molly thought, the best thing she’d ever seen in her life. “I’m worried we’re going to fall off the couch.”

 _This is the best day of my **entire** life._ “Um. My bed is really big.”

“That is an _excellent_ idea.” Finn rolled off the couch to his feet and held out a hand to her, which she reached for—

—except that no, apparently Finn _wasn’t_ going to be helping her up, because Sami was also standing up and just _taking her with him._ She squawked as he draped her over his shoulder, and he laughed. “What? I’ve wanted to pick you up for ages.”

“You _caveman._ ”

“I thought that involved hair-grabbing.” He started heading for the bedroom. “Finn, doesn’t that involve hair-grabbing? I try to ask before I pull someone’s hair.”

Through the bedroom door, and Molly wasn’t arguing with him because she was torn between staring at his ass and staring at Finn, who was walking behind them and had managed to get stuck in the act of pulling his t-shirt off. She swallowed hard. “Look, do you need _help_ with that? Because I will definitely help you take your shirt off.”

“Nope. Nope. ‘m fine. Pretty sure _we’re_ supposed to be doing the helping.”

“Taking your shirt off would help me.”

“Oh my god, is he stuck again? He does this all the time. Here.” Sami lifted her up and dropped her onto the bed, very gently, and then turned and grabbed Finn by the waist. “ _You_ stay still or you’ll get tangled worse.”

“Says you,” Finn said from inside his shirt.

Laughing, Sami pinned him to the now-closed bedroom door and peeled him the rest of the way out of his shirt, and then Finn grabbed him and pulled his shirt off in turn, backing him towards the bed as they kissed. Molly just stared at them, breathless, feeling like she should be doing something but not quite sure what. “Holy shit.”

Luckily she wasn’t left to ponder it for very long, because they fell onto the bed together and looked up at her, and Sami said, very seriously, “I think we’re neglecting our girl.”

“I mean, I can fix that.” Finn crawled over him, up the bed, advancing on Molly with an intent look on his face. He covered her bit by bit, agonizingly slowly, until their faces were bare centimeters apart and he pressed her back into the pillows with a kiss.

“That was a _demon_ face,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. “You said no demon.”

“Nah, love, all I said was I wouldn’t let ‘im bite your head off. He’s always there.”

“You _cheater._ ” She nipped at his lower lip and then gasped and drew her nails down his back as Sami, who was…somewhere behind him…brushed his fingertips across her lower belly, just at the waistband of her pants. “ _Oh,_ you’re both _cheating._ ”

“Can’t really see how.” One of Finn’s hands slid up beneath her shirt, thumb rubbing over her nipple with just enough deliberate pressure that she squeaked. “Far as I know I haven’t broken any rules.”

“Outside _interference._ ” She wriggled, pressing up against him as she tried to make it easier to Sami to pull her pants and underwear down and off. “Didn’t even grab the _tag_ rope.”

“Thought this was a triple threat.” He grinned at her and then bit the side of her neck. “So we’re both allowed to pile on.”

“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure this is gonna count as hitting below the belt or something.” Sami kissed the inside of her thigh and added, “I mean, if that’s ok with you.”

“Is that— _ohh,_ yes, _please_ do that.”

He shifted ever so slightly forward and kissed again, and then licked, the tip of his tongue tracing her labia with agonizing delicacy. She gasped and arched up against Finn, who pressed her back down against the bed and bit the side of her neck again.

 _“Aah!”_ She shuddered, struggling out of her t-shirt with some difficulty even as Finn pressed his mouth to the hollow of her throat, as Sami took another delicate lick. It felt good to push up against Finn’s weight, even better to buck her hips against Sami’s mouth. Until, that was, he grabbed them and held them down.

It felt like he was going so slowly, dragging out her pleasure centimeter by centimeter. She tried to say something but couldn’t, incoherent with sensation and often muted by Finn’s lips hard on hers. Pressure was building in her stomach, her groin, every part of her body winding tight. It could have taken hours. But then Finn ducked his head to her right breast and bit, just hard enough to feel, and Sami’s tongue flicked over her clit and she came with a drawn-out, shuddery sigh.

“I like that noise.” Finn felt like he was smiling. “That was a good noise, Sami, get her to do that again.”

Sami shifted back. “Actually, uh. My jaw kinda aches.”

“Maybe it’d ache less if you didn’t take donkey’s years to do anything.” No, Finn was _definitely_ smiling.

“ _Look,_ if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing _well,_ and sometimes that means going _slowly._ ”

Molly took a gulping breath, not sure whether to moan or laugh. “Are you two _seriously_ arguing about the correct way to go down on me? Because if this is some kind of contest then I think I need a demonstration of the other technique.”

“Oh, y’hear that?” Finn pushed himself up and sat back, grinning toothily. “She wants a demonstration! I wanted to give her a demonstration.”

“I would. Appreciate a demonstration.” She took another breath, and then stared at them for a moment as she realized that something was wrong. “I feel like I should register an objection right now to the fact that you two are both still wearing pants.”

Finn didn’t even _say_ anything to that, just tackled Sami onto his back on the bed, wrestling the other man out of his pants with a truly single-minded focus. He kissed down Sami’s chest as he tugged them off, mouth sliding down on Sami’s cock before they’d even hit the floor, so now _Sami_ was gasping and scrabbling at Finn’s hair. It was possibly the most erotic thing Molly had ever seen. For a moment she could only stare, breathless and so aroused that she felt like she could almost come again just from _watching_ them.

Except that, she realized, touching was an option. _Participation._ She sat up and forward, pulling Sami’s head back so that she could kiss him, one hand in his hair and the other between her own legs. He could barely focus enough to kiss her back, and for some reason the sound of him gasping _“Fuck…”_ was spectacular.

And Finn sat back.

Sami said, “ _Fuck,_ Finn.”

“What? I was demonstrating.”

“I thought. Fuck. I thought you meant demonstrating on _her._ ”

“Going to do that too, but you were _right_ there.” Finn rolled onto his back with a pleased expression, kicked his own pants and underwear off ( _finally_ ), and beckoned to Molly. “C’mere.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “What, I don’t get to lie down this time?”

“Not if you want me doing my best work, love.” He grabbed her waist and lifted her with almost no visible effort, settled her so she was straddling his face, and pulled her down hard.

She gasped, having had just enough time that she’d _almost_ cooled down only to have heat rush through her body again. Sami had been delicate, slow nearly to the point of being frustrating. _Finn_ had the focus and energy of a starving man who’d been told that _she_ was the banquet he’d been promised. He gripped her hips so tightly that she thought she’d bruise and there were _definitely_ going to be bite marks on the insides of her thighs, but she couldn’t imagine regretting them, because she shuddered and came as her legs turned to jelly underneath her. She wasn’t sure she could even see straight.

The clockwork-tight wind-up started again, and she clutched at his hair and gathered enough breath to say, “Look, one or both of you needs to be _in_ me pretty much immediately or I’m gonna pass out without getting to see _either_ of you get off.”

Finn _kept going._ He seemed to have an inordinately long tongue.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his hair. “Don’t be obnoxious, do you _want_ to fuck me or _what?_ ”

He shifted his head back enough that he was able to say, “Could do this all day, honestly.”

“Bet you could, but _I_ can’t.” She lost her balance climbing off of him and collapsed onto the bed with a giggle. “Look, Sami, can you—oh good, you already found them.”

Sami was rummaging through the nightstand, coming up with a box of condoms, which, “They’re blue?”

“I thought it would make Brian laugh.” She stifled a sniffle, because _no,_ everything was amazing, Brian could go jump off a cliff. “What do _you_ think?”

“Feel like I should be offended, shouldn’t they be red? But I like it.” He paused. “This is—ok, despite Finn’s attitude, this isn’t actually something we _do_ a lot. Or. Ever. So…what do _you_ want?”

Which was…an excellent question. Molly stared at him, and at Finn, suddenly uncertain. “Um. I’m not sure. Which is to say that I’ve thought about basically this situation an _embarrassing_ amount of times, but I kind of never expected to…get here.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Sami put the box of condoms to the side and kissed her instead, drawing her down so that they could just lie on the bed. “I mean, this all kind of _just_ happened.” Finn curled around her from the other side, and she rolled over to kiss him and tasted herself on his mouth, which was novel and pleasant.

It was nice to lie there, held in their arms with the low vibe of _this is happening_ thrumming in her stomach but no pressure to do anything. She stayed curled between them, giggling and wiggling down a bit when they leaned together over her head to kiss each other—and then, as an idea occurred to her, wiggling down further and taking the head of Finn’s cock in her mouth.

Finn actually gasped, which was very satisfying, since until that moment he’d seemed unbearably sure of himself. “Moll…”

She lifted her eyes to meet his, winked, and reached back to grab at Sami’s hip. Luckily _he_ seemed to get the idea immediately, and she heard his scrabbling fingers on cardboard and the tearing of plastic. There was a moment of tangled confusion as they shifted around, getting Finn pushed back against the pillows with Molly between his legs and Sami behind her. She hummed with satisfaction around Finn’s cock as Sami slid into her.

Finn still looked fabulously unguarded, his pupils blown wide, one hand coming down to rest very gently in her hair. “Shit, Moll, look at you, look at both of you, you’re gorgeous.”

She hmm’ed, and then shuddered as Sami wrapped an arm around her waist and reached down between her legs.

 _That_ was too much, she almost had to pull back just to breath, but Finn kept talking. “Sami, you should _see_ your face. Should see _her_ face. Look, why didn’t we do this before? This is _absolutely_ the best thing I’ve ever done in my _entire life._ ”

It was hard to maintain a rhythm, almost, with Sami moving in her and stroking her clit and Finn shaking and babbling sweet words in a way she’d never seen him do before—until his back arched against the pillows and he said _“Fuck,”_ and came in her mouth in a faintly sulfurous rush.

She swallowed it, nose wrinkling for a moment, and grinned up at him. “I almost want to tease you about _oh._ ” Sami’s forehead was pressing into the back of her neck, his hand still working, and every muscle in her body tightened around his cock. _“Oh.”_

Finn held her gaze the entire time she was coming, and by the time she was almost finished shuddering through the aftershocks of it Sami was coming too, with a faint mutter that she suspected was him cursing in French so they wouldn’t know what a filthy mouth he had.

“Shit,” she said when she felt like she could breathe again.

“Yes, very articulate.” Finn was back to smirking.

“You hush, you two just fucked my brains out, I’m not required to be articulate.”

Sami didn’t seem capable of articulating much at _all,_ even after he’d tied the condom off and tossed it with surprising precision into the wastebasket. Finn wrapped an arm around Molly’s waist and pulled her in close, resting his chin on the top of her head. When he’d gotten her settled he reached for Sami and pulled him in too, so they were all nested together with Molly in the middle.

She yawned into Sami’s shoulder blades. “If I’d known this was an option before, I would’ve ditched Brian _ages_ ago.”

“Don’t even mention that arse,” Finn muttered, face buried in her hair. “Didn’t deserve you.”

“ _Super_ didn’t. Molly, can you _breathe_ down there?”

“I’m not _that_ tiny,” she muttered.

“Nah, you’re like, super tiny.” Sami reached back and patted her awkwardly on the hip. “Don’t worry, we both think it’s cute.”

“You…ok, I never asked, had _you_ guys thought about this before?”

She could _feel_ Finn smirking against the top of her head. “It might’ve come up once or twice.”


End file.
